Today was my "due date". It's weird to think that today is the day Stratton was expected to be here, and yet today he is five and a half weeks old. I always had a feeling he would be early, but I was thinking more around August 12th. . not July 12th. There isn't a lot that has happened with his birth that was "expected" though.
So, I guess it just has me thinking about the things that happened and how I really feel about it. I think most women have some sort of mental picture of how their pregnancy and child birth will go, I honestly didn't. I am such a worrier and was really afraid that I would be overwhelmed with worry during my pregnancy. So, I went into this pregnancy with the attitude of taking it one day at a time and just rolling with the punches. You can never know for sure what is going to happen next, there are so many complications that can occur, so why get wrapped up in "expectations". I starting praying everyday (even before I got pregnant) that God would give me peace and let me "let go" so he could be in control, and he really did. I guess that is why I wasn't really surprised when things turned out the way they did.
I remember the day I went to the doctor and she told me I might be having contractions and they hooked me up to all those monitors for the first time. Mom was with me that day and she looked really worried, but I honestly wasn't. I could have never anticipated the events that followed that day, but throughout it all I don't think I was ever really surprised at the circumstances or worried that things wouldn't turn out just fine. Was it a struggle? Well, sure everyday was hard. It put a lot of stress on me physically and emotionally. I think I cried (and prayed) more in that month than I have in my whole life combined! But thanks to our family and friends we were constantly reminded of the love they had for us and knowing that they were praying for us, well that somehow that made it all easier. It wasn't an accident that when Stratton was delivered he was so big and was more like a full term baby rather than a preemie. And it's not a coincidence that we both overcame complications and are now perfectly healthy. Prayers were answered. I have no doubt that the Lord was working in our lives.
Now, I look back and sometimes can't believe all we went through in that long month and yet we made it and are actually blessed because of it. I have always believed that you appreciate things more when you have to endeavor through hardships to get them. I don't think that could be any more true in my life right now. I count my blessings everyday. I truly appreciate the healthy baby boy that the Lord has blessed us with, and I appreciate more than ever the circle of friends and family that Jarrod and I have, we are so very lucky. I want to make sure you know, those of you that were praying for us, you made a difference in our lives and we thank you. I appreciate my best friend and husband. Talk about commitment. Jarrod was so supportive and loving through it all. There was a lot asked of him and he never once complained. Without his love and understanding (and help to the bathroom!)I don't know what I would have done. And mostly, I appreciate my heavenly Father, who loved us enough to listen to our prayers and answer them, to Him we are most grateful.