Miss Personality

The many faces of Arden Grace. . .

My favorite.

And. . .the “Ok, mom, I’m SO over this” face.

Spring Pictures

So, Saturday wasn't exactly the best day for pictures. It was a beautiful day, not too cold and the sun was shining, but it was CRAZY windy. And as I mentioned before, Stratton was being a grump and wouldn't smile. Well, she got some good ones in spite of it all.

Here are my favorites. . .

A big thanks to Jessica King, who got her pants all wet and dirty trying to get good pictures of my kiddos. You should have seen her laying down to get a good shot- and she's pregnant! She's awesome!! Check her out on Facebook or her website: http://jessicakingphotography.zenfolio.com/

I am a terrible parent.

At church last Wednesday night a well meaning, sweet lady with almost grown children asked me how things were going and if my kids were staying well. . .this lead us into a conversation in which she said to me “Every moment raising my children was an absolute joy.”

I am pretty sure it’s a double sin to lie in the church building. But I don’t believe she was intentionally lying to me. She’s just crazy. No, actually she has amnesia, a special form of this disease that affects mothers once their hoodlum children grow up and all they have left to cling to are memories from the past. I have a theory that once your kids are grown up you forget about the meltdowns in the middle of the grocery store, you block out the memories of your children coloring your desk with permanent markers, and you completely disregard any recollections of the nightly dinnertime/bathtime/bedtime battles.

But after we got home and I thought about it more, I thought to myself how inconsiderate it was for her to say that. It made me feel like a terrible parent.  I know she didn’t mean anything negative, if anything she thought she was encouraging me (a young tired looking mother) as she also said, “cherish the moments because they will be grown in a blink of an eye” . . . which are words that I hear just about on a daily basis and they make me feel horrible every time. 

I try. Honestly, I do. Especially with the recent loss of my childhood friend who had two small children, it’s really put things into a new perspective for me. We don’t know how much time we have with our kids, so I want to be a sweet, loving mother all the time and I want to relish every second I have with my precious children. And they are a precious gift from God. . .but, let me tell you, every moment with my kids is not a joy. Am I so blessed to be their mother?- of course! Am I grateful for each and every day the Lord gives me to be their mother?- without a doubt! Do I love them more than words can express?- absolutely. Do I enjoy every single moment I’m with them?-Uh, not so much.

Does that make me a terrible parent? Maybe. Or maybe it just makes me human. I am not superwoman, I have weaknesses- lots of them! One major weakness is I let my kids get the best of me and sometimes I lose my rationality, coherence, reason, judgement temper and yell and sometimes I have to put myself in timeout to keep from killing my three year old. And {here comes the bomb. . .} sometimes I have to give Stratton candy, sit him in front of the TV and let Arden cry in her crib with the door shut while I sit in my bathroom with the fan on to drown out the noise, just to get a moment of peace. {BOOM.} There. I said it. Now all of you know my deep, dark secret. I’m a terrible mom.

I saw this article today and boy did I ever need to read it!! Sometimes, God works through many different outlets to send us messages. I think he knew I needed to hear this today. . .

To parents of small children: Let me be the one who says it out loud.

My favorite quotes from the article. . .

“You are not a terrible parent if you can’t figure out a way for your children to eat as healthy as your friend’s children do. She’s obviously using a bizarre and probably illegal form of hypnotism.

You are not a terrible parent if you yell at your kids sometimes. You have little dictators living in your house. If someone else talked to you like that, they’d be put in prison.

You are not a terrible parent if you can’t figure out how to calmly give them appropriate consequences in real time for every single act of terrorism that they so creatively devise.

You are not a terrible parent if you’d rather be at work.

You are not a terrible parent if you just can’t wait for them to go to bed.

You are not a terrible parent if the sound of their voices sometimes makes you want to drink and never stop.

You’re not a terrible parent.“

***************

Jarrod and I try SO HARD to be consistent and not lose our temper and provide consequences for misbehavior, BUT it’s a challenge. Like a “climbing Mt. Everest” kind of feat. Some days I feel like all I do is get on to Stratton. And at the end of those days I feel awful. I know discipline is a necessity but it’s hard because it makes me feel so guilty! I love my kids and I hate punishment. But I don’t want my kids to be disrespectful, lying, brats either. So, the wooden spoon prevails.

I do make sure I tell Stratton how much I love him and how good and special he is and how no matter what bad thing he has done, he is not a bad boy. I think this is SO important! And most of the time if we’ve had an especially hard day, I am mindful of that in our family prayer time. Sometimes Stratton will pray for “Stratton to be better” which melts and breaks my heart all at the same time.

I can only hope and pray (and pray and pray and pray) that someday it will all be worth it. That our kids will be decent, law abiding, good Christian, adults that don’t hate their parents and aren’t a drain on society. I guess that’s all I can really ask for.

In the meantime we will continue to enjoy and celebrate the good times with our kids, knowing they will all too quickly be grown. But I won’t feel bad for the moments I have a breakdown and cry find myself overwhelmed by my kids and have to sink to giving in and letting them have their way just to save my sanity.

I’m not a terrible parent, after all.

6 Months Old?? That can’t be right!!

Our sweet happy girl!

At 6 months I can’t remember what it was like not to have Arden around! Okay, I can remember but it’s like remembering the days before facebook, sure we had more “time” to do other things, that we now spend reading status updates, but honestly who wants to go back to those days? She is really happy most of the time. Her personality is coming out more and more. The funniest thing is to watch her grab at whatever Stratton has. She is a mess! My best guess to how much she weighs would be about 14.5 lbs. She is taking about six 4-6oz bottles a day and oatmeal twice a day. And in the evening we are mixing in some squash! We just started that over the weekend and she loves it! She is still wearing 3-6 size clothes. In fact she has 2 pairs of GAP jeans that are still about 2 inches too big in the waist. They are tough to get up over her legs and hips but once they are up they are so big I can’t let her wear them they look ridiculous!! Too bad, cause they are so cute. We don’t go for her 6 month check-up till the end of the month. We kept getting called to reschedule and we like to go on Fridays since Jarrod is usually off, but the last time I told them just to schedule it as soon as they could and it’s on a Wednesday now.

I think Arden is finally starting to feel like herself. Although, to be honest she never really like she felt bad in the last week or so. We took her to the follow-up appointment with the ENT on Friday, only to find out that she has an ear infection! I felt bad, but we had no idea! She wasn’t running a fever, acting too cranky or pulling at her ears? So, that appointment was for nothing. Well, I guess not completely nothing since we did find out about the ear infection. . .Then we took Stratton to the Dr. I thought that if Arden had an ear infection and had no symptoms then Stratton probably had it too since he actually had a croupy cough and sounded really congested. Sure enough. He has bronchitis and sinusitis, though. So now both of them are on antibiotics and cough meds and antihistamines.  Friday we spent $115 on doctor appointments and meds. Ugh. But at least everyone is feeling ok now. Right at this moment, but who knows it could change at any moment!

We spent the majority of the weekend in Hickory Ridge. After Stratton’s swim lesson Friday night we headed that way and didn’t come back till Sunday afternoon just in time for church. It was late when we finally got there Friday night and it was around 10pm by the time Stratton got to bed. We had family/kids pictures taken Saturday at the barn and in grandma and grandpa’s yard. Stratton was tired and didn’t want to smile (of course) so who knows if she got any good ones of him. Arden did really good, so at least there will be some cute ones of her! Then after a nap we all loaded up (Yes, all 6 of us- us and my mom and dad) and went to Gregory to a newer restaurant that is attached to a barn. It’s called the Tamale Factory, and the Tamales were good, but the menu was really random. They had steaks, fish and shrimp and then tamales? It was ok. I got the fish and it wasn’t great. The barn that it is attached to is a really nice one, they had some horses and Stratton wanted to go watch them and we could hardly get him to eat! We met Jarrod’s parents there and had a good time seeing them and visiting. Our reservation was at 5:30 and I think it was about 7ish when we left. Then after we got back to my mom and dads, we tried to get the kids ready for bed and it was probably around 9pm before Stratton went to bed (which was actually 10pm since we were “springing forward”). Sunday after morning services at Hickory Ridge we all went back to my mom and dad’s for lunch and Jarrod and I finally had a birthday party! Stratton took a short nap and then it was time to go again! It was such a rainy, icky day. But we needed to get back to Jonesboro for our small group meeting after church. We had it at the Wallis’ gym and ended up staying there till 8:30 so it was about 9:30 by the time we got Stratton to bed, again! Whew! Three late nights in a row and between all the weekend’s activities and the time change we are WORE SMOOTH OUT! This morning poor Stratton was struggling to wake up, I’m pretty sure he fell asleep about 3 different times this morning before school.

Hopefully we will have a less stressful week and upcoming weekend!! We need some rest!

Nuke another hot dog.

I saw this today and thought it was so funny, and so true.

 

Which led me to thinking.  It’s strange that I used to find cooking relaxing!! I remember a time when I looked forward to going home and cooking (while watching STYLE or reading a magazine that wasn’t about parenting or cooking) as Jarrod and I talked about our day.  Those days are long gone. I mean LONG, long gone. I can’t even see them in the rear-view mirror anymore.

 

Cooking now is like an Olympic sport OR like an episode of Iron Chef. Seriously, you want some entertaining TV?? Let’s put those celebrity Chefs in a kitchen with a hungry 3 year old and just see how much they get done. And just for fun let’s have their “culinary genius” judged by a panel of 3 year olds. Talk about criticism.  Talk about some good reality TV. I’d watch it.

 

The second we walk in the door Stratton heads for the snacks. Then WW3 ensues as I tell him he can’t have a snack, because (hopefully) supper will be ready soon. And then and there, in the middle of our kitchen, the nightly “Battle of the Snack vs. Dinner” takes place. And while there is no bloodshed, there is plenty of drama and usually ends in a traumatic tantrum which leads to this momma bringing out the big guns. . .aka the wooden spoon.  Battle over. And apparently forgotten since we will inevitably meet again same time same place the next day. . . The unworthy opponent  retreats to the living room to watch Disney Jr. and drink his chocolate milk.

 

Mere minutes later, he returns to find out what I am cooking, and upon learning that we aren’t having his top choice of hot dogs or pizza, commences to throwing another fit and whines about how he doesn’t like whatever I decided to cook. Then he continues to annoy me test my patience by messing with the dirty dishes in the sink, getting in the drawers (especially my baking drawer where I keep the marshmallows), getting into the fridge and cabinets. . . basically anything he can do to slow down the process of me getting food on the table in a timely manner.

 

One day a few weeks ago when my mom was over we were all in the kitchen getting supper ready and no one was paying much attention to Stratton. (BIG mistake. ) I look over and he’s at the sink with the dish scrubber brush IN HIS MOUTH, brushing his teeth. Can I just say that had one of those moments where I honestly thought there might be something mentally wrong with my child. WHO DOES THAT??? I snatched it away from him (had a mini stroke) and then I panicked. I started thinking back to the last time I used it. . .was it to scrub raw chicken off the cutting board??. . . Then, Jarrod saved me from the guilt of giving my son salmonella and told me he had just pulled it out of the dishwasher (which we always run on sanitize cycle) a few minutes earlier. RELIEF. True Story. I can’t make this stuff up folks.

 

I do try to let him help sometimes. That’s a BIG step for me. My OCD self has a hard time “letting him do-it”. Like when he carefully places 45 pieces of pepperoni in the same 1 inch section of the pizza. . . It takes all I have in me to not go behind him and spread them out where they are even and symmetrical. This actually happened again last night and after his pizza was cooked and on his plate he decided that there were too many pepperonis on it and they were burning his mouth, so he picked them all off.

 

I long for a day when I have clean, well behaved children who are eager to help me in the kitchen and thrive on following specific instructions. . . but while I’m dreaming, I’ll pretend I’m in my custom kitchen with professional grade appliances putting together a lavish four course meal . . . and not washing off the chicken that fell in the floor.

 

I digress. . .and nuke another hot dog.

Busy Sunday!

Sunday we got up and went to early service! {If you’re not impressed you should be, it starts at 7:45am} It wasn’t too bad. I actually thought it might have been a little less stressful than our normal Sunday’s trying to make it by 9am. But it is SO early. We went to church, bible class and were sitting in the O’Charley’s parking lot at a little after 10 am! Can’t beat that! We had brunch then went home and took naps (short ones) then got ready for the birthday party!

Cooper’s 5th birthday party was Sunday afternoon. Stratton was so excited! The boys had a great time playing, Stratton didn’t want to leave!

Stratton of course got cake and icing on his shirt and was really sweaty so we ran by the house for a quick change of clothes and headed to church. After church we went to eat with Matt and Carla and Sawyer. I think Arden and Sawyer are going to be good friends. She laughed hysterically at him because he was upset and crying. Always a sign of budding friendship, right?! He is eating baby food and she really watched him closely. Something must have “clicked” because she took her oatmeal last night like a champ! She opened her mouth and ate it so good! Not like most nights when I have to poke it in her mouth! I must have let her eat too much though, because about midnight she threw up again. Ugh.  We went ahead and sent her to school today, since they told us at the doctor’s office that she shouldn’t be contagious anymore. Hopefully she will have a good day. It seems like lately she’s only been sick at night, anyway. Stratton has swim classes again tonight, but other than that I am looking forward to an uneventful week!

Finally feeling better. . .maybe.

Saturday we didn’t do much at all. Jarrod and Stratton went to the gym about 9:30. Stratton really enjoys playing at the “Kids Club”! We had lunch then we all took a nap, while Jarrod went and got his hair cut. I did some laundry, and stuff around the house. . .nothing too strenuous!  We did get out to grab some dinner, at Cracker Barrel- per Stratton. . .he wanted pancakes. We decided to let Arden try out a high chair (with a blanket stuck behind her for support) and she did great!! She was so much happier than being in her carseat or the bumbo seat. We have the cover we used when Stratton was a baby and she’d rather chew on it than her toys.

After we left Cracker Barrel we ran to Walmart to get some groceries. Shopping with two kids is so hard!! Jarrod ended up taking Arden to Subway to try and feed her while Stratton and I did the shopping. It was a pretty quick trip! We got back home, got baths and put the kids to bed!!

So far so good! She hasn’t been sick since Thursday night! I hope she is finally getting over her tummy problems!